Reality check

Here are both St Ives indoor teams playing on adjacent rinks, my team on the left. Was the first time I'd ever rolled an indoor bowl, and had to be against the White Hart team from Warboys, sporting an England national singles winner, another England international, and two county players. On the positive side we were never expected to win, but still... my abject performance was somewhat of an embarrassment.

With no chance to have a practise beforehand I relied on watching a video of a 2013 singles final, carefully noting how little effort it took to get the bowl to the other end of the rink. But nothing could have prepared me for the amount of swing. At times it was more like crown green bowls, with the woods from adjoining rinks crossing over into each other's area. Didn't realise you had to avoid bowling at the same time as adjoining rinks, so I had to replay the shot when one of my first hit another team's bowl.

Of my twenty bowls just two were within a metre of the jack. If I got the line right the length was either too long or short. If I got the length right, I either bowled too wide or narrow. Although I clocked quite early on just how wide you needed to aim, my subconscious kept telling me that couldn't be right, the result being too many narrow shots. And it was really difficult to apply the amount of finesse required to get the right length.

Was only in the last end I started to get a faint clue what I was doing. With another fortnight before I play again, I'm praying for a miracle that'll bestow sudden and real skill at indoor bowls. Fat chance! But at just £2.50 for two hours bowling, with no up front fee and all over by 8.30pm, it's a real bargain.

Here's the league table before tonight's matches, my team being St Ives 1. Doesn't take into account the sound thrashing both St Ives teams got tonight.